


now you're just a memory to let go of

by beware_of_you



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: :c, F/F, and so sad, angsty, babies :c, but like don't let that fool you, its sad :c, its so so sad, jelle feels, there's... some sexual content, thinking about them always, this is so sad, traumatized bbies, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:28:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27734572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you
Summary: “goodbyes are not forever, are not the end; it simply means I'll miss you until we meet again”
Relationships: Elle Greenaway/Jennifer "JJ" Jareau
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	now you're just a memory to let go of

Her hand remains frozen on her doorknob, keys still hanging from the lock of the propped open door to her apartment. Her body stiffens, the primitive part of her brain telling her that if she moves, she's in danger. Her eyes are glued on the intruder in the middle of her apartment, blue eyes blown wide at the sight.

Jennifer Jareau thought she really has felt every sort of emotion in her 28 years of living on Earth. She's felt fear every single day she sees the mangled bodies of women that fit her description to a T. She's felt annoyance, especially when officers call her "pretty lady" or don't take her as seriously because they only see her as a dumb, pretty face. She's felt confusion, overwhelming shock and the insurmountable feeling of the last of her innocence crumbling away when she found Ros in her family's bathtub when she was just a child.

She's felt it all: pain, sadness, guilt, happiness, excitement.

Everything.

And yet, when she finds herself face to face with Elle Greenaway standing in her apartment after they had avoided each other for weeks, JJ feels a new wave of emotions she's never felt before. She wouldn't even know how to describe them. All she knows is that her stomach hurts, her heart plummets to the very pit of her chest and tears immediately burn at her eyes.

She doesn't know what to say to Elle, not after her accident and near death experience at the hands of the Fisher King. It's part of the reason they haven't talked— JJ feels too guilty, too worried that she's ruined one of the few good relationships she's had with another person.

Even now her mouth feels like it's full of glue, tongue weighed down with lead. She struggles to open her mouth, and even when she does, no sound comes out.

It doesn't even matter.

Elle's lips crash into hers, the air releasing from her mouth with sharp gasp. Her hands grip onto the other woman's shoulders, tears falling down her cheeks at the raw desperation she feels coming from them both in waves.

Elle's hands smooth over her chest, cup her breasts over the fabric barrier of her shirt and bra. JJ arches into the feeling, tiny whimper trembling its way from her mouth. Her nails dig into the other woman's clothed back, scrapping along the slippery surface to find purchase. Her heart pounds with the rising anxiety she feels and she presses herself further into Elle, afraid to let her out of her sight even for a second.

They've done this dance so many times before, it's natural to them at this point. Elle leads her back to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Hands slide along soft, delicate skin. A trail of discarded clothing leads to the bed, which JJ falls back on easily. Her hands grip behind Elle's head, pulling her on top and smashing their lips together with a soft sob. Her stomach coils with a steadily increasing feeling of dread, and her hands refuse to ever leave Elle for a second.

They've done this same dance so many times before and, yet, it doesn't take a profiler to tell that this time it's different.

JJ doesn't have to be a profiler to know that this time, this means goodbye.

She's always been willing to give herself to Elle like this, to let her take what she wants and offer whatever Elle wants in return.

Elle's never kissed her like this, so softly and so gently.

She's never touched her like this, taking the time to memorize and worship every inch of skin beneath her finger tips.

She's never taken her time and it only makes JJ's chest hurt more, the inevitable hanging over her head.

Instead of Elle's name falling from her lips when she climaxes, it's a broken, stifled cry of, "Don't go."

Instead of a verbal reply, Elle trails her lips up JJ's body and kisses her until she's dizzy and breathless. She gently grabs the blonde's wrist and guides it exactly where she needs. They gasp into each others mouths at the feeling, Elle turning her head to breathlessly pant into the pillows.

JJ presses a series of wet, soft kisses along the other woman's jaw, drinking up her own salty tears as they drip onto her skin. "Stay," she begs quietly, her tone laced in needy desperation. "Please stay."

Elle's eyes briefly meet her own before her jaw clenches, burying her face back into the bed. Her hands clutch at the sheets beneath their bodies, mouth open in a silent cry as her orgasm washes over her.

JJ stuffs her face into her neck, sobbing freely onto her skin. Her arms wrap around the older woman's body, blubbering an incoherent mess of "please don't go" and "stay".

Elle gently shushes her, wrapping her own arms around the blonde's slim waist. Her fingers trace soothing shapes against JJ's back, her chin resting just at the crown of her head. She comforts the younger woman silently, holding her even as her sobs hiccup and eventually seize. Her eyes remain glued to the wall, turning only when she feels JJ's body relax and her steady breaths puffing out against her chest.

"Don't go," JJ says in a small, sleepy voice, sniffling at the end of her plea.

Elle doesn't reply.

When JJ wakes up in the morning, she's alone in bed with nothing left of Elle Greenaway but the memories.

**Author's Note:**

> idk this is kinda flopping on tumblr so i posted it on here in hopes it'll get more traction


End file.
